19 notes to myself

part-broken, part-whole

Look at this list. Trudgy, preachy, smug even I think. Honestly, I can be pedantic as hell. Maybe it’s something we all are from time to time. This one time I started writing down things that seemed to matter to me. It might have begun as something of a wish list for the kind of love I wanted to attract into my life. What would this person be like? What about them would I find appealing or distasteful? How would I like to be treated? And so on.

It was interesting what transpired: as I wrote I began to understand that this was less about what I wanted in someone else, and actually; quite precisely who I wanted to be myself. These qualities, this articulation, this idea of “goodness” – embarrassing as that sounds – is what I aspired to. This is who I want to be, and am (hopefully)…

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